Sasquatch's Razor

I came home a couple days ago and my wife told me she had something to show me. She took me upstairs to the master bathroom and pulled out a box of ladies' razors she had just purchased. She said she had just opened the box. It had been sealed and not tampered with.

Inside the box were three new razor blades. The first two were shiny and clean. On this particular brand, an oval-shaped bar of soap surrounds the razor head. So far, so good.

The third razor in this pack of three, however, was simply vomit inducing. First, the soap bar was missing. Second, the blades of the razor were slightly rusted. And finally, I kid you not, the entire head of the razor was covered in long pieces of somebody's hair! [gag]

I'm no products liability lawyer, but I am sure that if people can sue over McNuggets shaped like chicken heads, mice in Coke bottles, and fingers in chili, there has to be some course of action to be taken regarding a "new" razor in an un-tampered package being covered in rust and tufts of somebody else's hair. Appropos to the title of this post, there was enough hair on this thing that it looked like Big Foot's very own. [gag]

Not generally being the litigious type, we'll probably send it back to the manufacturer for an explanation and some free stuff. But...sick! I'll have to look for a local hack's ads:

"Have you been sickened by the discovery of a hair covered razor blade in your latest box of X-brand razors? Are you unable to sleep at night and suffer nightmares about massive hairballs appearing in everything from your toothbrush to your Wheaties? If so, call the law offices of Scheister & Ripov. If you have an injury, you need a lawyer!"